A Day In The Life

Had a sudden urge to blog even though I know there would be no substantial content in this post. A mellow day in the life of a self-indulgent bitch. I'm feeling so disconnected today. I've had better days. I just got back from Peace Centre. Printed my name cards for the graduation exhibition. 100 pieces for 18 bucks. Quite a bargain. Been contemplating if I should design a display holder for the cards. LAZY!

So I was talking to my Mom earlier about my nicotine addiction. She wants me to get rid of it before I go over to Melbourne. Being an ignorant Singaporean, I would whine about how our government is constantly increasing tobacco taxes. Little did I know that the Aussie government is doing the exact same thing. I'm not about to pay that much for this disgustingly comforting addiction.

I'm thinking about applying for jobs to save up a little for 'emergencies' when I'm over there. Been considering some programmes at Gasi. Their Internship USA or Internship New Zealand sounds like fun. It'll definitely be a good experience. Plus it'll give me a warming up period for Melbourne. My mom's unsure about USA, she probably has a hard time letting her 'little girl' be that far away from home. My dad has a friend in New Zealand, so she's pretty cool about it. But imagine if I get to go to the States. I'll be earning 1 1/2 times more and I'll be doing what I love! New Zealand's cool too but I heard it gets so boring, you'll age faster there.

If I decide to go for this. I wouldn't be spending as much time as I would like to, with my family. Am still considering though. For now I need to get started on the bloody Questionnaire (which I still think is totally unnecessary) for RMIT. Shit! I've been putting it on hold for 2 whole months now. I still miss him.

Cynic Says :

I would like to try and erase the past two weeks of my life. Due to certain circumstances, details were left out. I’m tired, of unhappy ever after endings. I’m tired, of make believe heros. And I’m tired, of taking back what I have given. I don't even know where to begin. I guess I was reminded of why I've been single for as long as I can remember. The whole 'guy drama' has seriously drained me out emotionally. Need a freaking break from it.

In some weird way, I'm kinda glad it didn't last. Although sometimes in situations like these, you would start to wonder what could've been if you took the chance. But I must say, I've learnt to deal with moving on pretty well. Maybe it's because I have become so cynical towards men.

Oprah once said, if a guy sweeps you off your feet, don't fall. I couldn't agree more. Don't fall in love instead walk into it. Have you ever met someone who's way out of your league and have him whisper sweet nothings in your ear? As the saying goes, 'If it's too good to be true, it probably is'. It just seems too easy. The best advice is to not to 'give' too much. Nothing is scarier than when it seems as though everything is going your way. For it is then, when you actually have him, you would have something to loose.

He is ambitious, independent and smart. He basically has all the qualities I look for in a guy. Definitely a catch. But I guess such qualities come with an array of commitment issues. Plus there were other issues adding on to this, which led him to his skepticism to be emotionally attached.

When it first hit me, I felt overwhelming sadness or disappointment. No idea what it was yet. But I've been blessed with an amazing ability to block out emotions and not indulge in self-pity. I am actually pretty glad that things are on the back burner now. He was very convincing about not feeling this way about a girl in a very long time. But it took awhile for me to realise that if he wants to try and be friends (can't see how it works if you like someone, then again it could just be me), maybe he was just not that into me to begin with.

Toxicated

Met up with darling Teresa and an old friend Vanessa on Saturday. Got really tipsy. It's been awhile since I've partied this hard, so I kinda forgot how fucked up it felt to be hungover the morning after. I drank more than I should've on Saturday, my hangover lasted through Sunday. That sourish aftertaste of alcohol, the way your stomach feels like its all tied up into knots. Dehydrated and everything else that you drink or eat, tastes weird. Even water. Gross.

I'm glad I slept it off only today. I don't remember the insignificant parts of the night, which is a bad thing cos' I might be blabbering away. I bet I humiliated myself in front of at least one person. But anyways I finally got a chance to release all the stress I've been under for the last couple of months.

O bar was fun. I was photographed by some chick. It'll prolly be out on their website soon. I got chatted up by some white guy who had weird questions. And then he said I could tell me to fuck off if I didn't want him here. It was then I realised he was chatting me up. Haha. He got the hint and went away eventually.

Vanessa got chatted up by some Indian guy which she single-handedly rejected. I think. And this is the funny part of the night. When I came, Teresa was telling me about this one cute Eurasian guy. Our 'groups' were not very far away from each other and so he was checking Teresa out as well.

I turned to the bar to get a drink and the next thing I know, he was right there, talking to her. Now enough with the details. Here's whats funny. They got acquainted, and the 'Eurasian guy's' name was Zul. Teresa has nothing against Malays but she just likes Eurasian. Her face changed and his next line was 'I was realising you, I think you're pretty'. It was hilarious. But she was nice enough to not burst out laughing. See the thing is, broken English would turn anyone off. Especially Teresa! But we had a good laugh about it. She was still kinda interested in him though but he sorta disappeared after awhile.

And of course there has to be at least one eye candy to deem a successful party. And there he was, right across the dancefloor, white zip-up sweater, tousled spiked hair. He's definitely cute in that ruggedly boyish way. For a minute when I saw him alone, we had this eye flirting session when I was going to the bathroom. I think. No idea. Too wasted to care. LOL.

So I was just casually telling Sham (a friend I bumped into) about the new found eye candy. Big mistake! They're friends! And so Mr Sham went up to him to perhaps say hi. But of course I swore to him that if he said a thing, he'll be slaughterd. They just sorta hung around for abit. I wonder if he told that guy. But of course when I asked, he denied. But boys will be boys I guess. I seriously couldn't care less.

That guy's merely an eye candy. I swear! Although, I'd like to bump into more eye candies like him. Haha. I don't think he's malay though, he looks mixed. All I could remember was he had a weird name and tons of hot girls around him. You know how sickening it is to actually have a guy know he's hot? It's sad. That overpowering display of male ego is enough to kill his sexiness.

But Saturday night was fun. The bartender gave me and Teresa invites for next Fri. Free entry and free flow for Friday the 13th. We might get drunk again. Hah. We'll see.

Quick Update

Been too lazy to blog lately. A quick update. The freaking wallpaper. The wallpaper thingy is like a total waste of time. Finally done with the whole graduating project and still no time to indulge in the simplest pleasure of life - sleeping. Seriously, I'm telling you, if you ever wanna find out the importance of sleep or what it can do to you when you're deprived of it, enrol yourself into LASALLE SIA College of The Arts (the school that never sleeps).

On a much lighter note, I just got a letter of acceptance from Curtin University! Not that it's my first choice, but it sure as hell feels good. I still need to fill up that Questionnaire from RMIT before the application can actually be processed. I'm too lazy. All I can think about lately is partying, my friends and of course not forgetting the men. *winkz* Hah! *pukez*

Speaking of men, an old flame just came back into my life. Well, actually he didn't really disappear. But I've been busy with school and stuff, I guess it can't be helped. But this Shawn guy, all he ever did was drive me nuts. Thing is, I hate inconsistency. It's so freaking frustrating. When we were sorta in our 'honeymoon' period. He would call and his Mom would be bugging him to get off the phone. I know what you're thinking, its not his fault, but I had a major 'I dunno what you call it yet but we'll settle at crush for now' on him, I can't help feeling like this! Worse part is, he doesn't even have a cell! Can you believe it? I mean seriously who doesn't? He would still call but conversations lasts for about half an hour max.

Whenever our conversations are starting to kick off, his darling Mom would start bugging. And of course the phone calls were frequent enough in the beginning, when everything else was still new. And then they become less frequent, mainly because of National Service (guy burglar) and as for me LASALLE (social life robber). Together they are the partners in crime and will strip you off all your male/female drama. LOL.

Our conversations, hardly made it past 10 minutes. Eventually, phone calls get lesser. And then you could go plant 1000 reasons in your head as to why he hasn't called. But truth is, he's probably just not that into you. Hahaha. Sex And The City was definitely beneficial. He would just vanish for a week or two and reappear again. All that flirting, boils down to nothing. OMG did I just say that? LOL. But anyways, this time, it'll be different. I would welcome him with open arms. Not because we finally have time for each other but because the lil' 'crush' I had, isn't there anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too picky. LOL. I get turned off by possibly anything you could think of. I guess I wouldn't wanna settle for anything less really. After all the weird boyfriend encounters, seriously, relationships is at the bottom of my list right now. Plus I'm leaving for Melbourne (that is if I get into RMIT), with my rommie-to-be Edna! Can't hardly wait. The only thing is if I eventually get accepted in RMIT, it'll be a Feb intake, other than that, I'm pretty psyched about it.

It's 9.20am in the morning. I can't seem to sleep just yet. My biological clock seriously needs to be turned around. Either that or I could move to somewhere in the West and live happily ever after. But I guess the same thing will happen when I'm there. Can't help it. I'm a night person. Alrighty, I think I'm done here. I have no idea when I'll be in the mood to blog again, I'll keep my fingers crossed.